Friday, December 24, 2010

Living in the affirmative

When your boundaries are intact in a relationship you:

  1. Have clear preferences and act upon them
  2. Recognize when you are happy/unhappy
  3. Acknowledge moods and circumstances around you while remaining centered (live actively)
  4. Do more when that gets results
  5. Trust your own intuition while being open to  other’s opinions
  6. Live optimistically while co-working on change
  7. Are only satisfied if you are thriving
  8. Are encouraged by sincere ongoing change for the better
  9. Have excited interest in self-enhancing hobbies and projects
  10. Have a personal standard, albeit flexible, that applies to everyone and asks for accountability
  11. Appreciate feedback and can distinguish it from attempts to manipulate
  12. Relate only to partners with whom mutual love is possible
  13. Are so strongly affected by your partner’s behavior and take it as information
  14. Integrate sex so that you can enjoy it but never at the cost of your integrity
  15. See your partner as stimulating your excitement
  16. Let yourself feel anger, say “ouch” and embark upon a program of change
  17. Act out of agreement and negotiation
  18. Only do favors you choose to do (you can say no)
  19. Honor intuitions and distinguish them from wishes
  20. Insist others’ boundaries to be as safe as your own
  21. Mostly feel secure and clear
  22. Are always aware of choices
  23. Are living a life that mostly approximates what you always wanted for yourself
  24. Decide how, to what extent, and how long you will be committed
  25. Protect your private matters without having to lie  or be surreptitious

I posted not merely for the reader but also for myself as a reference. Everyone needs reminders.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Ladykhalia,

    Thank you for listing Anahita's Woven Riddle as one of your beloved books. I enjoyed you recent post on the value, necessity, of interdependence. This is a theme in the novel I am at work on, a companion book to Anahita's Woven Riddle. With any luck, it will be published in the next year or so.

    All the best,

    Meghan Nuttall Sayres