Friday, December 24, 2010

Living in the affirmative

When your boundaries are intact in a relationship you:

  1. Have clear preferences and act upon them
  2. Recognize when you are happy/unhappy
  3. Acknowledge moods and circumstances around you while remaining centered (live actively)
  4. Do more when that gets results
  5. Trust your own intuition while being open to  other’s opinions
  6. Live optimistically while co-working on change
  7. Are only satisfied if you are thriving
  8. Are encouraged by sincere ongoing change for the better
  9. Have excited interest in self-enhancing hobbies and projects
  10. Have a personal standard, albeit flexible, that applies to everyone and asks for accountability
  11. Appreciate feedback and can distinguish it from attempts to manipulate
  12. Relate only to partners with whom mutual love is possible
  13. Are so strongly affected by your partner’s behavior and take it as information
  14. Integrate sex so that you can enjoy it but never at the cost of your integrity
  15. See your partner as stimulating your excitement
  16. Let yourself feel anger, say “ouch” and embark upon a program of change
  17. Act out of agreement and negotiation
  18. Only do favors you choose to do (you can say no)
  19. Honor intuitions and distinguish them from wishes
  20. Insist others’ boundaries to be as safe as your own
  21. Mostly feel secure and clear
  22. Are always aware of choices
  23. Are living a life that mostly approximates what you always wanted for yourself
  24. Decide how, to what extent, and how long you will be committed
  25. Protect your private matters without having to lie  or be surreptitious

I posted not merely for the reader but also for myself as a reference. Everyone needs reminders.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

this is me, folks!

Characteristics Psychologist Dr. David Weeks mentions people with a mental illness "suffer" from their behavior while eccentrics are quite happy.  He even states eccentrics are less prone to mental illness than everyone else.
According to studies, there are eighteen distinctive characteristics that differentiate a healthy eccentric person from a regular person or someone who has a mental illness (although some may not always apply). The first five are in most people regarded as eccentric:

Nonconforming attitude

Intense curiosity
Happy obsession with a hobby or hobbies
Knew very early in his or her childhood they were different from others
Highly intelligent
Opinionated and outspoken
Unusual living or eating habits
Not interested in the opinions or company of others
Mischievous sense of humor
Usually the eldest, or an only child

Quincy Jones - Velas (1981)

Monday, December 6, 2010

45 Suggestions to an Abundant Life from Regina Brett

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17.. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

These suggestions come from the spirit of Regina Brett.