When your boundaries are intact in a relationship you:
- Have clear preferences and act upon them
- Recognize when you are happy/unhappy
- Acknowledge moods and circumstances around you while remaining centered (live actively)
- Do more when that gets results
- Trust your own intuition while being open to other’s opinions
- Live optimistically while co-working on change
- Are only satisfied if you are thriving
- Are encouraged by sincere ongoing change for the better
- Have excited interest in self-enhancing hobbies and projects
- Have a personal standard, albeit flexible, that applies to everyone and asks for accountability
- Appreciate feedback and can distinguish it from attempts to manipulate
- Relate only to partners with whom mutual love is possible
- Are so strongly affected by your partner’s behavior and take it as information
- Integrate sex so that you can enjoy it but never at the cost of your integrity
- See your partner as stimulating your excitement
- Let yourself feel anger, say “ouch” and embark upon a program of change
- Act out of agreement and negotiation
- Only do favors you choose to do (you can say no)
- Honor intuitions and distinguish them from wishes
- Insist others’ boundaries to be as safe as your own
- Mostly feel secure and clear
- Are always aware of choices
- Are living a life that mostly approximates what you always wanted for yourself
- Decide how, to what extent, and how long you will be committed
- Protect your private matters without having to lie or be surreptitious
I posted not merely for the reader but also for myself as a reference. Everyone needs reminders.
Dear Ladykhalia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for listing Anahita's Woven Riddle as one of your beloved books. I enjoyed you recent post on the value, necessity, of interdependence. This is a theme in the novel I am at work on, a companion book to Anahita's Woven Riddle. With any luck, it will be published in the next year or so.
All the best,
Meghan Nuttall Sayres
www.writingandwandering.blogspot